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Good stuff Chris. Before we started Ann Arbor Guitars we both ghost repaired for Herb David Music Studio.

The place had been for there 50 years and had a mixed reputation. This was were Dan E. got his start. One of the things that set clients off at times was the little yellow cards displayed on every guitar that said "Please Ask Before Trying A Guitar."

More than once people got in screaming matches because at G*itar C*nter you could ravage the instruments with reckless abandon letting belt buckles free range.... but not here. When you did ask for assistance they gave you a dirty towel to put in your lap before the Martin, Taylor, etc..... That offended the rest who were not offended by the yellow cards.

So this post is not about dumb stuff a customer might have said but dumb stuff the store said in their policies. This is why we never wanted to have our names associated with the store because of the mixed reputation that they had received.

I'll add they would not turn away work, we did all of the time but not this place. One time a client was walking down the stairs to leave with his 50's Kay arch top that he bought at a yard sale for $15 after we said it needs a neck reset and the price is $XXX. Client didn't even play and had no idea that a repair might cost more than "a couple of bucks, sheesh.." as he said to us and declined. We were going to decline but have and had learned to use "punitive pricing" to let others decided for us.....

So he's leaving outside with the guitar and the owner arrives and wants to know if the guy likes the work we did. He tells them what we said and that no work was performed and the owner then offered to turn the guitar into a lap slide and take it back in and give it to us.

We tell him to do it himself we already declined on the job. Anyway you can see where this is going.

So with all this offered customers do say dumb stuff at times and so do music store employees (especially with a 38 on the counter ) and owners.

We would take breaks on the sales floor and I often sold guitars off the wall while taking a break. When the store closed the owner asked me if I would help him out personally and try to sell some of the inventory. I used to teach sales and marketing for the biggest company in the world.

So I sat there for four hours presenting myself as the guy who see all that goes wrong with guitars and I sold over $35K of his inventory that single afternoon. Two more days and the store closed for good. It was a good time, rewarding too and the people that worked there were astonished that I had people literally standing in a line to ask be if "this is a good one or should they buy that one..."

The next day we stated our own new business and the store perished. That was April 1st 2013.

heres a few that i throw around the shop. i originally read them in a MMR magazine but i have heard all of them in person. now that you have read them, i promise you will hear them if you havent already. enjoy!!

#1 "i need to get my trust rod adjusted"
#2 "do you guys to guitar inclinations"
#3 "i need to jack off my amp"
#4 "do you guys replace podometers"

This was back in the late 70's.... Customer was playing his Ovation Breadwinner through a Randall amp turned up pretty loud. The cord was shorting out, sounded horrible with all the crackling and screeching. The guy suddenly pulled the plug out of his Ovation, which resulted in a prolonged buzz from the Randall. He looked terrified, and turned the guitar up to his face, cooing "I hope I didn't hurt you, baby!".

I couldn't stop myself from chuckling, and he looked angrily at me... which sent me into hysterical fits of leg slapping guffaws. He finally put his guitar in the case, and stormed out while I cackled myself to death. He never came back.

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"Act your age, not your shoe size" - Prince

Well after reading this I am very glad that our shop does not service amps

Lol!!!! Yeah. Try as I may, I still get roped into it!


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Guy today asked me to adjust the “Enter Notion” on his strat.

"Dive Bar " is My Fav of ones Ive Heard

_________________
The Shallower the depth of the stream , The Louder the Babble !
The Taking Of Offense Is the Life Course Of The Stupid One !
Wanna Leave a Better Planet for our Kids? How about Working on BETTER KIDS for our Planet !
Forgiveness is the ability to accept an apology that you will probably NEVER GET
The truth will set you free , But FIRST, it will probably Piss you Off !
Creativity is allowing yourself to make Mistakes, Art is knowing which ones to Keep !
The Saddest thing anyone can do , is push a Loyal Person to the point that they Dont Care Anymore
Never met a STRONG person who had an EASY past !
http://wiksnwudwerks.blogspot.com/
http://www.facebook.com/groups/GatewayA ... rAssembly/

Guy today rang up and asked for my recommendation of a pickup for his flattop. I asked him what type of music he performed, was the pickup for live performance or recording? And what size or type of venues would he perform in? All so I could recommend an appropriate unit. He screamed down the phone:

NO NO NO DONT START WITH THAT BS IVE BEEN PLAYING 40 YEARS. ANY PICKUP SHOULD BE ABLE TO HANDLE ANYTHING I CARE TO DO, YOU <censored> ARE ALL THE SAME. NOW GIMME YOUR BEST PRICE ON A QUALITY UNIT.

(He didn’t get my “best price”).

I'd invite him to eat poop and die, then hang up.

_________________
"Act your age, not your shoe size" - Prince

One funny story comes to mind: a customer repair ticket. Generally they'll have a brief description of what they need. All this one said was "Make sound better."

Another: one guy who was trying to insult my work to get a discount. "Oh my god. This looks like ****. I can't play this **** on stage!"

It was fine. Nothing wrong with the job at all. I had to take an additional moment to process the fact that this guy had never been in a band and had never played on stage anywhere.

Did you smash it in front of him?

I used to tell the whiners I could fix it so no one else can.

_________________
"Act your age, not your shoe size" - Prince

SUUURRREEE Stand outside and wait for me !!!

_________________
The Shallower the depth of the stream , The Louder the Babble !
The Taking Of Offense Is the Life Course Of The Stupid One !
Wanna Leave a Better Planet for our Kids? How about Working on BETTER KIDS for our Planet !
Forgiveness is the ability to accept an apology that you will probably NEVER GET
The truth will set you free , But FIRST, it will probably Piss you Off !
Creativity is allowing yourself to make Mistakes, Art is knowing which ones to Keep !
The Saddest thing anyone can do , is push a Loyal Person to the point that they Dont Care Anymore
Never met a STRONG person who had an EASY past !
http://wiksnwudwerks.blogspot.com/
http://www.facebook.com/groups/GatewayA ... rAssembly/

Just had a guy request a “very low action, no buzz” setup on his Les Paul. Ok. Then he tells me it needs to have zero buzz, even when played unplugged. I explain that even a well setup electric guitar might have a little rattle unplugged, and it’s considered acceptable as long as it is not audible through an amp. Laws of physics and so on.

Guy says: “nope, it has to be no buzz when played acoustically. I don’t own an amp, and I don’t intend to own an amp.”

Did you tell him to GTHO and not come back?

_________________
"Act your age, not your shoe size" - Prince

I told him that while I normally offer satisfaction guaranteed, in this case he’d be committing to pay me whether he was satisfied or not.

Just had potential customer on Reverb Tell me up front that my guitars look and sound great and that my Price point was great for hand built $999.00 + 150 Shipping. Asked a bunch of questions about one , gave him more vids of guitar being played , pictures of guitar detail. Said again that the guitar was what he wanted at the price he was looking for.................... Then Proceeded to offer me $200.00 less than asking price !!

_________________
The Shallower the depth of the stream , The Louder the Babble !
The Taking Of Offense Is the Life Course Of The Stupid One !
Wanna Leave a Better Planet for our Kids? How about Working on BETTER KIDS for our Planet !
Forgiveness is the ability to accept an apology that you will probably NEVER GET
The truth will set you free , But FIRST, it will probably Piss you Off !
Creativity is allowing yourself to make Mistakes, Art is knowing which ones to Keep !
The Saddest thing anyone can do , is push a Loyal Person to the point that they Dont Care Anymore
Never met a STRONG person who had an EASY past !
http://wiksnwudwerks.blogspot.com/
http://www.facebook.com/groups/GatewayA ... rAssembly/

He thinks you are as stupid as he is.

Reminds me of the guy who called me 10 days in a row asking questions about my vintage Studebaker. I sent him 150 photos, and he then drove all the way from Owensboro, Kentucky (with a rented trailer) to drive it. It was obvious he loved it, and had the gall to offer me $2000 less. I laughed in his face and said, "I know you want it - you called me 10 times and drove here to see it".

He drove home, and called me 3 weeks later... "You still have it?".... Full pop, baby! Plus he paid to have it delivered.

_________________
"Act your age, not your shoe size" - Prince

Im kinda guy if he contacts me again Im gonna raise the price $200.00 and tell him .... Take it or Leave it !!!

_________________
The Shallower the depth of the stream , The Louder the Babble !
The Taking Of Offense Is the Life Course Of The Stupid One !
Wanna Leave a Better Planet for our Kids? How about Working on BETTER KIDS for our Planet !
Forgiveness is the ability to accept an apology that you will probably NEVER GET
The truth will set you free , But FIRST, it will probably Piss you Off !
Creativity is allowing yourself to make Mistakes, Art is knowing which ones to Keep !
The Saddest thing anyone can do , is push a Loyal Person to the point that they Dont Care Anymore
Never met a STRONG person who had an EASY past !
http://wiksnwudwerks.blogspot.com/
http://www.facebook.com/groups/GatewayA ... rAssembly/

Ooh you’ll have to tell me who this was…

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Mike Hoenerhoff
Elderly Instruments