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While I find that a little Chris Schwarz goes a very long way, he does produce a gem every now and again. In addition to ragging on a number of the boss's pet peeves, Schwarz skewers the practice of naming common items after obscure local landmarks or simply applying a random collection of nouns (e.g., Green & Green arm chair becomes "...the Willow Meadow chair from our Lower Susquehanna Collection").

https://www.popularwoodworking.com/woodworking-blogs/chris-schwarz-blog/words-woodworking-make-barf

I think there are a few other words that belong on the list, judging from a stroll through builder web sites. Please share any favorites.

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A constellation only takes shape when one maps the whole.
- Beth Brower

Luthier.

So Swartz was poking fun at Arsesanal woodworkers?

I believe his jests were aimed only at the most pretentious.

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A constellation only takes shape when one maps the whole.
- Beth Brower

I guess my humor was a bit abstruse.

Best comment of that post:

"Gather around, kids, Old Man Schwarz is going to come out on his lawn and wave his cane at the damned kids with their hair and their clothes and their high-falutin’ “hand tools”. What next, foot tools? Just stay off his lawn."

LOL that's great, upcycle means you build something from junk hahahahha. Guilty as charged!

And then naming things yes yes yes like trees.... It's kats! Or is it a tree?

Then of course there is.... Moonwood.

This kinda sums it up.... Almost every word used at least once.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?list=PLrpQn ... Bb9O-aW4zI

I'm on the left...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hr25YHpAfPc

I ran across this sentence on a builder's web site recently: "Each guitar made sounds open and free right from its virgin stringing."

I'm shocked that "terroir" hasn't made it's way into descriptions of wood quality. Yet.

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Once in a while you get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right - Robert Hunter

"I'm shocked that "terroir" hasn't made it's way into descriptions of wood quality. Yet."

Hey Jay,
You can be the first!
Although we don't use the word we do attribute special characteristics to wood from specific geographic regions.

That skit on the firewood OMG I was laughing so hard I almost peed myself. I live in the Napa Valley it is pretty much ground 0 for over pretentiousness.

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Right after the firewood skit a video came on about a chef beginning work at a new restaurant (Otium: chapter one). It's twice as funny because he is being serious. Chef's take it to a whole new level.

However, my local grocery store sells shrink-wrapped kiln-dried firewood.

Ed

Yeah but is it hand stacked?

Boy, they need to get with the times. That wood should be lovingly torrefied instead of kiln-dried.

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Once in a while you get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right - Robert Hunter

"However, my local grocery store sells shrink-wrapped kiln-dried firewood."

Does it come with a certificate of authenticity that would allow you to burn it in the state parks in slower Delaware?

I like his comments on Handmade etc..

Kerry

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My Website http://klw-strings.com
My Luthier's Blog...http://klwstrings.blogspot.com

Hey now. Don't hate on my artisinal bespoken urban upcycled imported European kiln dried firewood... I love that stuff... It burns perfectly... Attractive flame... Nice soft crackling sound.... Easy to deal with.... It's almost as good as burning a guitar.

Thanks to the article, I'm super curious as to what distinguishes an artisanal urinal cake.

Also, the firewood mockumentary is uncomfortably on the nose. Take a look at some of the favorite short documentaries (i.e., commercials) about guitar builders. I love watching those, but they all could have been produced by the same folks.

Also, remember Quilted Northern Rustic Weave?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vRlBtabKRFM

Some great ones there. There are probably a few on my site. I first noticed this trend for bulls*****g in the 90s. Tescos, one of our biggest retailers started selling not strawberries, but "hand picked, Northumbrian strawberries." They tasted the same to me. Then the clotted cream became "Cornish clotted cream from English Jersey cows". Or some such drivel. It's sad but true that if you want to sell someone something that they don't need, a certain amount of "marketing" is needed. Food seems to be the worst culprit, but guitars are not far behind. Electric or acoustic, you'll find a certain number of "cork sniffers" as a friend of mine in the trade refers to them as.

It used to be sound and playability that sold small shop guitars. Now it's rosettes and fancy "appointments." There's another one, arghh!

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nigel

http://www.theluthierblog.com

In all seriousness, though, I think that selling guitars you build by yourself means you have to play up the virtues inherent to that type of guitar that cannot be obtained elsewhere. In other words, if you can honestly provide something that factories cannot, and the reason you can provide that thing, and the factories cannot, is because you take extra time and give the guitar individual attention, then I say you have to market the heck out of that difference. Otherwise, what is special about your guitar, as compared to a factory guitar?

Now, doing that type of marketing without falling into the trap of spouting drivel is the hard part, isn't it? I think it takes some finesse.

And, maybe it goes without saying, but I will say it anyway: Your product should actually be different if you are going to market it as being different. If you sell tap water, but call it artisanal spring water, you are just being dishonest. If you are going to market your guitars as having been put together a certain picky way by hand, it would be terrible for the client to find out that you really just ordered a ready-made neck from StewMac. There's nothing wrong with using a StewMac neck, but be honest about it.

I think it's a personality thing to some degree. Some people like this stuff. Customers and makers. I read of one maker who featured a "hand selected head plate." And I think they were deadly serious. We all have different personalities. Some folk spout this stuff without a hint of irony.

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nigel

http://www.theluthierblog.com

The trend is everywhere. Along with the strawberries Nigel bought, I bought fresh blueberries the other day "watered with 100% fresh water" proudly displayed on the packaging.

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Jim Watts
http://jameswattsguitars.com