Official Luthiers Forum!

Thanks Don!

Bruce I am 35 miles west of Detroit.......

Now I see it Ann Arbor. How could I miss that? Never been to Michigan before. Kind of off the beaten path for me, like Wisconsin and my cousin.

Don, I'm sure there are others with problems aplenty too. I guess this is one reason the OLF flourishes. We gather around a common passion of guitars, and can forget our troubles for a while.

Long live the OLF and luthiers with computers!

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http://www.dickeyguitars.com

[QUOTE=Don Williams] Wow guys, I really had no idea we had that many folks right here dealing with this. My heart goes out to you guys. There's always coffee brewing in the Williams residence if y'all are ever up this way too.[/QUOTE]

Thank you Don. Same is true here for any OLFer

My cancer is well under control and at present all metathesized tumors have been successfully removed. The type of cancers (yes plural) I have are treatable in most cases. One is just Basal Cell Carcinoma (common skin cancer) rarely ever malignant or a major health issue but I seem to be a Basal cell factory. The other is is the rarest known form of tumor producing cancer Pora Carcinoma. One in every 2 million tumors biopsied world wide are of this type. It is the one I have to keep a close eye on.

I hesitated to reply to this topic, one not many people outside of my family know and it is not a big deal. But I know that most well wishers and those that care have a hard time knowing what to say and do. So I told the truth from a cancer fighters point of view.

Once you have gotten past the first stage denial of the cancer, the greatest help your friends and love ones provide is to keep you in contact with normal life. For me, back when my prognosis was not so good the hardest thing was to have to set and listen to friends and family share their pity for my condition, or to have them treat me like I was so infirmed That I could not possibly enjoy life. That was no help what so ever. Finally one day I told all my friends and family stop it. I want to live. i am beating the prognosis and I want to share in the joy of living life with you. I no longer want to tell you how the battles with the cancer is going. Just know I am winning that war the best I can. That is where my point of view came from.

Ok guys I have won all my battles so far. Now lets build a guitar.

Very cool, Michael!!

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now known around here as Pat Foster
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http://www.patfosterguitars.com

Bruce,
Every person's life experiences will dictate how they react to this terrible news as well as how others react to the new.
I just want to ask when are we to stop lamenting the needless loss of loved ones, dads, children, and start screaming loud and long about the enormous amounts of money our government wastes on meaningless political projects and begins to prodiguously spend for research of these gut wrenching deseases. Are we just going to stand by and allow the status quo to dictate our health concerns? NOT ME- dEM CONVENTION HERE IN 2008 AND IT'S TIME TO START THE LEGAL AND BAIL FUNDS. cHANGE WILL ONLY COME WHEN 'THE PEOPLE' TAKE TO THE STREETS AGAIN AND DEMAND "THIER GOVERNMENT BACK"
Lance, I in know way wish to diminish the problems and heartaches related to us by Bruce.
Please feel free to start under new heading, or if you feel it appropriate, delete it

Bob, I don't think the government or the democrats do Cancer Research do they?

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http://www.dickeyguitars.com

They hold, and have held for years, enough $$ is their greedy little hands to prevent the full blown funding needed to beat this beast.

I've always thought of the government as wasteful, not greedy. Greedy maybe if you target a certain politician?

Well, I doubt discussing this in a luthier's off topic forum will affect the world stage for cancer research.

Why don't you run for public office and we'll see if the general public buys your ideas. I'm with you, we need to defeat cancer, and while we are at it, might as well find a cure and preventention for HIV/Aids. Here here!

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http://www.dickeyguitars.com

Both my grandparents on my mothers side fought cancer.
Grandma kicked its butt, Grandpa taught me about different kinds of courage before he said goodbye.

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"It's a Tone Faerie thing"
"Da goal is to sharpen ur wit as well as ye Sgian Dubh"
"Sippin Loch Dhu @Black lake" ,Kirby O...

greedy in the sense that they will not free money they control they wish to spend for their many meaningless projects instead of spending for the good of all.
To me, This is Greed of the basest kind.

I currently have 3 very close friends who are fighting cancer. Because of the advancements in diagnosis and treatment of the past 10 years they now have a very good chance of surviving until a ripe old age. Unfortunately that's not true of all cancers yet. My relationship with each of them is different depending on their individual personalities as well as their mental state at any given time. The key in my opinion is to keep engaging them in life...whether it's the news of the day, golf, guitar building, sports, etc. They have enough traumatic changes in their lives and don't need a long-time friend to change before their eyes. And if they wish to discuss their battle, be there and be the best friend you can be. Try to be an anchor in their lives...someone toward whom they can feel a bond and derive confidence and courage as they fight to survive.

And with all due respect to the OLF, Bob J...this thread started as a legitimate request by Bruce for advice and help in emotionally dealing with cancer patients. I considered your political bluster to be WAY OFF BASE, ignorant of facts, simplistic and insensitive to the spirit of the thread. Take your politics off the forum, please. Your comments are in direct violation of the intent, spirit and purpose of the OLF. As a contributor to medical research and development over the past 25 years I found your comments personally offensive.

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JJ
Napa, CA
http://www.DonohueGuitars.com

Bruce,
I hope I conveyed my empathy in dealing with this horrible disease. I did not, nor do I now, wish to 'hijack' this solum string. I was venting my anger for thoes I have knnown and are deceased and those still fighting the good fight.
JJ, with all respect you and your experiences deserve, my comments have many times been called too'cupcake' by cancer community composed of the hundreds of MD, medical researthers, expertson Federal Medical Research Funding-along with a few brave (or for whatever reson) have spoken out, appaled by the Govts. cold manner in dealing with the suffering of it's people. Cancer, regretably is only one of the many. My comments were For and About suffering caused first and formost by the disease and secondly, action or inaction by others.

JJ, I think you know I am the first to grab for a laugh in my posts, BUT THIS ISSUE CRANKS MY TAIL

Bruce,
I hope I conveyed my empathy in dealing with this horrible disease. I did not, nor do I now, wish to 'hijack' this solum string. I was venting my anger for thoes I have knnown and are deceased and those still fighting the good fight.
JJ, with all respect you and your experiences deserve, my comments have many times been called too'cupcake' by cancer, their anger very palpable, community composed of the hundreds of MD, medical researthers, expertson Federal Medical Research Funding-along with a few brave (or for whatever reason) have spoken out, appalled by the Govts. cold manner in dealing with the suffering of it's people. Cancer, regretably is only one of the many. My comments were, For and About the suffering caused by the cancer first and formost by the disease and secondly, action or inaction by others.

JJ, I think you know I am the first to grab for a laugh in my posts, BUT THIS ISSUE CRANKS MY TAIL

Sorry, posted ??? before I finished editing.

Some very powerful and excellent thoughts in this thread.

My wife is a breast cancer survivor, and has also had two (non-cancerous, but life threatening) brain surgeries.

Don nailed it when he said listen. Don't be embarrassed to say, "I don't know what to say, but I'm here." It is honest, and let's the person know your state of mind, and that you are really present. (Then actually listen. Paul's uncle Larry example was perfect - don't compare notes; it may be true, but irrelevant right now.)

Those initial few words and the willingness to say them and to be present mean a lot. If the person just recently found out themselves, their head may be reeling, and they may not want or need anything from you at that time.

After the initial "shock" period, what the person wants and needs is probably as unique as we all are. I suspect there is a huge difference when the prognosis for recovery is realistically good: you can help your loved one prepare for battle, help to keep their spirits high, remind them that you know they are going to make it. Depending on how close you are to this person's "inner circle", it may be time to step in as a major health advocate. The more you know about treatment options, treatment facilities, and possibly even specific medical personnel the better you can assist with creating a battle plan. You may be very surprised to find out that medicine has become so specialized that there is no one assigned to your loved one's overall battle plan. You would think that (in the case of cancer) the oncologist would be the Major General, but you may find out they are more of a Colonel - you are left to orchestrate the battle and recovery plan, or accept whatever comes along on any given day.

If you are not close enough to be a or "the" major health advocate, then the person probably does not want to hear anything medical from you at all. I think this is what Michael is talking about. If you are a very good friend, just be a very good friend. If you are a friend but not a close friend, and want to be helpful, do a little something (make a meal, offer to babysit or run an errand, or do a chore that they are not feeling up to.) Send cards, and if the person believes in prayer and you do to, then let them know you'll keep them in your prayers.

In a case where the prognosis for recovery is not good, or even dire, well I guess all of the above applies, but I would think it would be even more critical to listen. What are their worries? (Will their cat need a new home, do their kids need help with a college fund...) Can you help them out by handling something that will greatly ease their mind and allow them to focus on something else, or maybe just to be more at peace.

Dennis

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Dennis Leahy
Duluth, MN, USA
7th Sense Multimedia

Thanks Dennis, great post. Sounds like you've been there.   

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