Lance and Brock I wanted to apologize to you both AND everyone else too.
Yesterday morning I emailed you both, politely, and requested that you delete my account. That was followed by your deletion of my account.
I know you both personally, Lance much better, we have been to each others homes, interacted with each other's family's, and I have always have a very high regard for Lance and more recently Brock.
When I asked you to delete my account it was not unlike a suicide threat and the sincere, I repeat sincere hope was that you would try to talk me off the ledge.
I frequently get contacted by OLFers who have a beef and for some reason I seem to be thought of by some as a mom sort...... Many people contact me with their beefs nearly every day. Please try to understand that this can impact one's outlook and cumulatively be harmful to me too over time. I always contact you guys and let you know what the beef is and i request guidance from you. In all cases you have never told me to just let the person leave. So I try to talk them off the ledge....... and ask them to stay. What else can I do and continue to live with myself?
My polite discussions with first you Lance and then Brock regarding the enforcement of the code of conduct was in fact on your behalf. You don't have to be Einstein to recognize that if you guys put this code of conduct in place that supporting the code of conduct, even defending it as it is written, is in fact a defense of what we know, in writing, to be your stated wishes. The conversation never deteriorated on any of the parts of the three of us. Kudos to you guys.
When I requested that you delete my account it was a cry for help from me to you. Two guys that I thought were my friends and although I have a history of supporting the OLF I do understand and acknowledge that my own behavior sucked at times, perhaps very often.
In the past people who have left have received emails from me asking them to return and yes this included Mario as well, Bruce Dicky, and many others. Serge leaving really, really hurt me on a highly personal level - but I stayed, called for calm, and tried to help the OLF.
I supported the forum, was a cheerleader (Billy let that one go please) and believed that I was helping you guys to build a very successful business. You asked me almost a year ago to be a moderator and I declined because I do not trust my own judgment. How many folks would admit to this? As for how many folks would admit that they do not trust my, Hesh's judgment I am sure that list would be pretty long.........
I did not wish to leave. I repeat - I did not wish to leave. What I hoped would happen is an email from either of you attempting to talk me off my ledge. I made no threats in my request to delete my account and was a polite as one could be with an uncharacteristic use for me of minimal words.
What followed was that you deleted my account, did not contact me, never tried to talk me off the ledge or expressed that you would like me to stay. Even if you had written back to me indicating that I am wrapped to tight, get upset to often, need to chill out and if I can do all of this including staying out of trouble you would be happy to have me back - I would have complied. I received no warnings and as fast as the bits and bytes permitted I was deleted.
Nearly 8,000 posts, a complete sharing of all I learned, over 3,000 photos, tutorials, contributions financially to every endeavor the OLF participated in, and many posts in recognition of you both, thanks to you often, and support of you and the OLF when in crisis, wiped away with a single click.
I am sick, live alone, cannot work, and you guys both knew this in as much as we have contact often off the OLF.
My hope was that you would slap me up side the head, give me some guidelines for if I was to participate in the future, and show me in some small way that you valued me as a person and as a participant who many times helped the OLF provide real value.
Moving on - I recognize that times change but sometimes like many of us I need to be told that times change, what the new objectives are, and offered an opportunity to participate in the evolution of the OLF. I was simply defending the code of conduct and if you really think about it guys this was and is indeed a defense of you since you wrote it.
I would like to be back and offer this going forward: I will not start conflict, if conflict finds me I will back away at once and no longer participate in the topic. When things start to get out of hand Hesh will no longer weigh in with what I believe.
As for posts that lack substance I fully expect to encourage people with
when they display a guitar that they have just completed. I will share what I learn, show what I do, welcome people, engage in respectful banter with people like Waddy, and again enjoy what has become pretty much the only family that I have/had.
I offer an apology to you and all.
Thank You.